you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
