Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize