He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
