So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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