What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
