They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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