You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
