do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He told me they were just razor bumps!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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