Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize