Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize