I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
