I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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