I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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