you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
