Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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