He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I will be naked everywhere
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
