I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
