Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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