Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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