dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
