Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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