sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
