Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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