It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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