dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
why do cheetos always look like penises
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
