I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
