it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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