I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
