At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
