just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
