I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
