So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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