It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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