i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
