we have officially lost it.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
