Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
