I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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