Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
