im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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