that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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