I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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