you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize