Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
