Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
