Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
