I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
