so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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