I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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