I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
