I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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