kristin has been a bad kristin
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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