Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
