Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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