Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
