2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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