he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
