Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
