i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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