Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm sobbing to NWA
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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