forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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