my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
