he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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