so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
