No, drunk sperm still make babies.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
