Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
