Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
