After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
