piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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