i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
