Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
you inspire me to be a worse person
My penis needs a shock collar
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
