North Korea, Best Korea!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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