then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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