thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Iโm going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize