i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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