Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
