I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
